BOOK REVIEW: The Autobiography of a Hunted Priest"

Oh, and a Black as Night Signature

You won't get it unless you read the book "Black as Night" by Regina Doman. Here's the first chapter.

Signatures and Avatars

Ok, the formatting has come out a little bit strangely, but there they are, ready to transfer to the forums. I'm sure most of you know this, but the sources for these pieces are Master and Commander, Hidalgo, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, A&E's Emma, The Neverending Story, Persuasion (Amanda Root), Sense and Sensibility (Emma Thompson), BBC The Old Curiosity Shop, and Amazing Grace.

In Memory of Jane Austen

We will now have two minutes of silence in memory of the finest author of the Napoleonic/Regency era, Jane Austen. However, since most people read in silence, it will be unnessecary for me to pause in any way. Yes, today, on the eighteenth of July, the one thousandth, eight hundredth and seventeenth year of Our Lord, that genius of wit, romance, and sheer delight passed aay, with no children fo her own but her sweet writings, who are alive and well even now.

In honour of this great author, I wish to post a couple of excerpts from her juvenilia. Jane wrote "The History of England" at the age of fifteen, for her own amusement and that of her family, completeing it November, 1791. One can see her sense of humour was alive long before she put it to work in her adult works. Beneath, if one scrolls down, one will find an exceedingly short play, "The Mystery - An Unfinished Comedy", which, I believe, she wrote when she was twelve. Enjoy! (Please note that in the interest of space, I have posted only exceprts from "The History".

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Exceprts from

"The History of England From the Reign fo Henry the 4th to the Death of Charles the 1st"

By a partial, prejudiced, & ignorant Historian.To Miss Austen, eldest daughter of the Revd. George Austen, this Work is inscribed with all due respect by
The Author

N.B. There will be very few Dates in this History.

Henry the 4th

HENRY the 4th ascended the throne of England much to his own satisfaction in the year 1399, after having prevailed on his cousin & predecessor Richard the 2d to resign it to him, & to retire for the rest of his Life to Pomfret Castle, where he happened to be murdered. It is to be supposed that Henry was married, since he had certainly four sons, but it is not in my power to inform the Reader who was his Wife. Be this as it may, he did not live for ever, but falling ill, his son the Prince of Wales came and took away the crown; whereupon the King made a long speech, for which I must refer the Reader to Shakespear's Plays, & the Prince made a still longer. Things being thus settled between them, the King died, & was succeeded by his son Henry who had previously beat Sir William Gascoigne.

Henry the 5th

THIS Prince, after he succeeded to the throne, grew quite reformed & Amiable, forsaking all his dissipated Companions, & never thrashing Sir William again. During his reign, Lord Cobham was burnt alive, but I forget what for. His Majesty then turned his thoughts to France, where he went & fought the famous Battle of Agincourt. He afterwards married the King's daughter Catherine, a very agreable Woman by Shakespear's account. In spite of all this, however, he died, and was succeeded by his son Henry.

Henry the 6th

I CANNOT say much for this Monarch's Sense -- Nor would I if I could, for he was a Lancastrian. I suppose you know all about the Wars between him and & The Duke of York, who was of the right side; If you do not, you had better read some other History, for I shall not be very diffuse in this, meaning by it only to vent my Spleen against, & shew my hatred to all those people whose parties or principles do not suit with mine, and not to give information. [...] There were several Battles between the Yorkists & Lancastrians, in which the former (as they ought) usually conquered. [...]

Edward the 4th

THIS Monarch was famous only for his Beauty & his Courage, of which the Picture we have here given of him, & his undaunted Behaviour in marrying one Woman while he was engaged to another, are sufficient proofs. [...] One of Edward's Mistresses was Jane Shore, who has had a play written about her, but it is a tragedy & therefore not worth reading. [...]

Henry the 7th

[...] His Majesty died, & was succeeded by his son Henry, whose only merit was his not being quite so bad as his daughter Elizabeth.

Henry the 8th

IT would be an affront to my Readers were I to suppose that they were not as well acquainted with the particulars of this King's reign as I am myself. It will therefore be saving them the task of reading again what they have read before, & myself the trouble of writing what I do not perfectly recollect, by giving only a slight sketch of the principal Events which marked his reign. Among these may be ranked Cardinal Wolsey's telling the father Abbott of Leicester Abbey that "he was come to lay his bones among them", the reformation in Religion, & the King's riding through the Streets of London with Anna Bullen. It is however but Justice, & my Duty to declare that this amiable Woman was entirely innocent of the Crimes with which she was accused, of which her Beauty, her Elegance, & her Sprightliness were sufficient proofs, not to mention her solemn protestations of Innocence, the weakness of the Charges against her, and the king's Character; all of which add some confirmation, tho' perhaps but slight ones when in comparison with those before alledged in her favour. Tho' I do not profess giving many dates, yet as I think it proper to give some & shall of course make choice of those which it is most necessary for the Reader to know, I think it right to inform him that her letter to the King was dated on the 6th of May. The Crimes & Cruelties of this Prince were too numerous to be mentioned (as this history I trust has fully shown); & nothing can be said in his vindication, but that his abolishing Religious Houses & leaving them to the ruinous depredations of time has been of infinite use to the landscape of England in general, which probably was a principal motive for his doing it, since otherwise why should a Man who was of no Religion himself be at so much trouble to abolish one which had for Ages been established in the Kingdom? His Majesty's 5th wife was the Duke of Norfolk's Neice who, tho' universally acquitted of the crimes for which she was beheaded, has been by many people supposed to have led an abandoned Life before her Marriage -- of this, however, I have many doubts, since she was a relation of that noble Duke of Norfolk who was so warm in the Queen of Scotland's cause, & who at last fell a victim to it. The king's last wife contrived to survive him, but with difficulty effected it. He was succeeded by his only son Edward.

Edward the 6th

As this prince was only nine years old at the time of his Father's death, he was considered by many people as too young to govern, & the late King happening to be of the same opinion, his mother's Brother, the Duke of Somerset, was chosen Protector of the realm during his minority. [...] He was beheaded, of which he might with reason have been proud, had he known that such was [to be] the death of Mary Queen of Scotland; but as it was impossible that He should be conscious of what had never happened, it does not appear that he felt particularly delighted with the manner of it. [...]

James the 1st

[...] His Majesty was of that amiable disposition which inclines to Freindships, & in such points was possessed of a keener perception in Discovering Merit than many other people. I once heard an excellent Sharade on a Carpet, of which the subject I am now on reminds me, and as I think it may afford my Readers some Amusement to find it out, I shall here take the liberty of presenting it to them:

SHARADE [sic]
My first is what my second was to King James the 1st, and you tread on my whole.

The principal favourites of his Majesty were Car, who was afterwards created Earl of Somerset and whose name may have some share in the above mentioned Sharade, & George Villiers, afterwards Duke of Buckingham. On his Majesty's death he was succeeded by his son Charles.

Charles the 1st

[...] The Events of this Monarch's reign are too numerous for my pen, and indeed the recital of any Events (except what I make myself) is uninteresting to me; my principal reason for undertaking the History of England being to prove the innocence of the Queen of Scotland, which I flatter myself with having effectually done, and to abuse Elizabeth, tho' I am rather fearful of having fallen short in the latter part of my Scheme. -- As therefore it is not my intention to give any particular account of the distresses into which this King was involved through the misconduct & Cruelty of his Parliament, I shall satisfy myself with vindicating him from the Reproach of Arbitrary & tyrannical Government with which he has often been Charged. This, I feel, is not difficult to be done, for with one argument I am certain of satisfying every sensible & well disposed person whose opinions have been properly guided by a good Education -- & this Argument is that he was a Stuart.

Finis
Saturday Nov: 26th 1791

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THE MYSTERY

An Unfinished Comedy

DEDICATION

To the Rev'd George Austen

Sir, I humbly solicit your patronage to the following comedy, which tho' an unfinished one, I flatter my self as complete a mystery as any of its kind.

I am, Sir, your most Humble Servant,

The Author

ACT THE FIRST

Scene the first - A Garden

Enter CORYDON

CORY.: But hush! I am interrupted! (Exit CORYDON. Enter OLD HUMBUG and his son, talking.)

OLD HUM.: It is for this reason I wish you to follow my advice. Are you convinced of it propriety?

YOUNG HUM.: I am, sir, and will certainly act in the manner you have pointed out to me.

OLD HUM.: Then let us return to the house.( (Exeunt)

Scene the second - A Parlor in the Humbugs' House

MRS. HUMBUG and FANNY discovered at work.

MRS. HUM.: You understand me, my love?

FANNY: Perfectly, Madam. Pray continue your narrative.

MRS. HUM.: Alas, it is nearly concluded, for I have nothing more to say on the subject.

FANNY: Ah! Here's DAPHNE.

DAPHNE: My dear Mrs. Humbug how d'ye do? Oh! Fanny, 'tis all over!

FANNY: Is it indeed!

MRS. HUM.: I'm very sorry to hear it.

FANNY: Then t'was to no purpose that I...

DAPHNE: None upon Earth.

MRS. HUM.: What's to become of...?

DAPHNE: Oh! That's all settled. (Whispers Mrs. HUMBUG)

FANNY: And how is it determined?

DAPHNE: I'll tell you. (Whispers FANNY)

MRS. HUM.: And he is to...?

DAPHNE: I'll tell you all I know fo the matter. (Whispers MRS. HUMBUG and FANNY)

FANNY: Well, now I know everything about it, I'll go away. (Exit)

MRS. HUMBUG and DAPHNE: And so will I. (Exeunt)

Scene the third

The curtain rises and discovers Sir Edward Spangle, reclined in an elegant attitude on a sofa, fast asleep.

Enter COLONEL ELLIOT.

COL: My daughter is not here, I see. There lies Sir Edward. Shall I tell him the secret? No, he'll certainly blab it. But he is asleep, and won't hear me. So I'll e'en venture. (Goes up to SIR EDWARD, whispers him, and exit)

END OF THE FIRST ACT

FINIS

Oh, and incidentally...

It just occurred to me that few of those viewing my blog probably know what I look like, so...

Chesterton for Beginners

In the comments box on the previous post, I see that Raewyn has asked my opinion on which books would be the best launching pad for those who are only just embarking on the adventure known as G. K. Chesterton. He's rightly been called the 'biggest author of the twentieth century'. This name is fitting not only for the obvious reason of his physical size, but because he wrote over a hundred books in his lifetime, not to mention hundreds and hundreds of articles for G.K.'s Weekly, The Illustrated London News, and numerous other periodicals. It can be a bit daunting for necomer. If they've heard of him at all, they've probably heard from friends that Chesterton is spectacular, but that is not enough information. What one shoudl really know is, where do I start among that vast sea of Chestertonia?

Let me being by saying that there are a few diehard Chesterton fans who will tell you, "The Everlasting Man is the most thought-provoking, amzing book Chesterton ever wrote. Start there." But all I can say is - don't. Please don't. I beg you, don't start with The Everlasting Man. Because if you do you will get a false impression of what Chesterton is like, and the chances are about 1 in 500 that you'll enjoy it the first time through. Wait on that one. Don't get me wrong, it is great, but it is notorious for giving even devoted Chesterton fans doubts about him.

In my opinion, the best inroduction to Chesterton is through one of two doors.

The first door is through his novels. I say this because they have everything Chestertonian (solid Christianity, laugh-a-minute humour, political arguments, apologetics, swordfights, redheads, pubs, cheese, wine, and rum), and also compelling plots, drama and characters that one expects from a novel. He's written quite a few, but I would reccomend one of the following to start off with - choose whichever appeals to you:

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The Napoleon of Notting Hill - This was Chesterton's first novel, written in 1904, but set eighty years later, in a fictional 1984 (and yes, it is coincidental that it's the same year picked by George Orwell). At this point in English history, people don't care a great deal about politics, and now run on a new system - alphabetic despotism. That is, they have a list of everyone in London arranged alphabetically, and every time a king dies they go to the next letter and select a new king whose name begins with that letter at random. And in this particular instance, chance has it that Auberon Quin, a man who lives for nothing but jokes and pranks, should be picked. In no time he has turned modern England into a Medieval parody, and out of this confusion rises one Adam Wayne, the only man in England who believes there may be a method in this madness, and is ready to go to war over it.

The Man Who Was Thursday - Chesterton's most famous novel, this is a fast-paced tale of a Victorian police detective who unwittingly infiltrates a circle of anarchists plotting to overthrow the country! Each of this men goes only by the name of one of the days of the week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.). Finding himself to be Thursday's succesor, the detective sets out to bring the anarchists to justice and discover the identity of their mysterious leader, Sunday. But who are these men, and are they more than they seem?

Manalive - It's been called the most Chestertonian of all his fiction. In this tail, a staid and boring London boarding house invaded by Innocent Smith, who seems to be a little out of his mind, but who certainly lives up to his Christian name. Imagine their surprise when they find that the sweet, baby-faced Smith has been accused of practically every crime in the book! Why was he seen shooting a gun at a professor hanging out of a window at Oxford university? Why did he invite a couple of parsons to break into a house with him? Why did he run off with a series of ladies named Miss White, Miss Black, Miss Brown, Miss Green, and Miss Gray? The 'slogan' of the book is one absolutely every Christian in this modern world should remember - "Break the conventions, keep the commandments!"

The Ball and the Cross - When a hotheaded Highland Catholic challenges and atehist English newspaperman to a duel for the honour of the Blessed Mother, the adventure is only just beginning. Pursued by the police by land and by sea, MacIan and Turnbull are determined to fight out their differences, by tongue and by sword. They run into an array of characters, who wish either to help or harm them. And what does all this have to do with a flying machine bearing a professor named Lucifer and a monk named Fr. Michael? Read it and find out!

The Flying Inn - Set in an Edwardian "future", this tale chronicles how the Muslims take over Great Britain and outlaw, among other things, the consumption of alcohol. All the inns and pubs in the land ar closed by the government. It is thus that Patrick Dalroy, an enthusiastic Irishman, and his innkeeping friend, Humphrey Pump, concieve the idea of "The Flying Inn". Armed with a barrel of rum, and wheel of cheese, and an inn sign, travel the country, fleeing the forces of the powerhungry Lord Ivywood, and discovering that there is more to the new governments agenda that religious acceptance.

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Absolutely marvelous, every one of them.

However, if you're a fan of non-fiction, you may wish to start with soem of Chesterton's, whimsical, humourous, though-provoking forays into that realm. I never knew essays could be so entertaining before I met GK.

Here are the three I particularly reccomend:

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Tremendous Trifles - Essays about everything, ranging from 'trifling' like running after one's hat, to the highest ideals like God's will for man. Everything under the sun. Wonderful.

On Lying in Bed and Other Essays - This one is actually an anthology of his work, not arranged by the man himself. Otherwise, ditto to the above.

Orthodoxy - This was my first Chesterton novel, which gave me a great appreciation of him, although it didn't get me hooked (The Man Who Was Thursday did that). This deals with two subjects. First it dispels the myth that orthodox, faithful Christianity is dull. Rather, says Chesterton, it is the most exciting and daring adventure known to man. He also discusses his own conversion expereince, and how he came to Christianity because it was such a paradox. Of course, in classic Chestertonian fashion, he rambles into other subjects too - Why mathematicians go mad and not poets, the ethics of elfland, and many others.

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Of course, you can always opt for the shrotest Chesterton work of all but first, a word about it. You see, a newspaper was running a contest asking for people to write articles on what was wrong with the world, the best to be awarded a cash prize. Chesterton wrote a letter running thus:


Dear Sirs,

I am.

Sincerely yours,
G.K. Chesterton


Needless to say, he won.

Yes, I'm Still Around

My friends! My friends! Come back - I'm still here - and I am going to start posting regularly again. Truly I shall! I am penitent for my silence. I beg your mercy! I promise to do my faithful duty from now on. :)

And here is a perfect oppurtunity to get back into the swing of things. I have been 'tagged' by Lady Rose, my forum sister, and so, here we go!

I am: a traveler in the desert, thirsting for clear water. I am a wanderer in the darkness, guided by the stars of heaven. I am a ball in the Beautiful Hands of the Infant Christ. I am a sinner in need of God's mercy.

I think: that the world is a song, and the song is exciting. (Yes, I am a Les Mis fan)

I know: the Sacred Heart of Jesus will always be there for me, and that nothing else matters.

I have: two wonderful younger brothers, a marvelous young sister, and a fantastic mother and father.

I wish: to always do God's will and to be guided by Him always.

I hate: :-) The Sheriff of Nottingham, shoelaces with the eyelets broken off, the Murdstones from David Copperfield, worn out socks, Cornish rock giants, "Idomoneo", and of course, the devil.

I miss: the oppurtunity to go to daily Mass. But I shall have it again in another month. Hoorah!

I fear: offending God.

I feel: excited about my future, secure, and happy. And a little bit sad about leaving home soon.

I hear: "Zitto zitto, piano piano," from Rossini's amazing opera "La Cenerentola" going around in my head. I fyou ever get a chance to see it, please do so. The DVD with Cecilia Bartoli, Raul Giminez and Enzo Dara is spectatcular.

I smell: a rat. I see it in the air, and I will nip it in the bud. - - - OK, so that was a joke, but a love that quote. A perfect example of the result of mixing metaphors.

I crave: to be in a full fledged dramatic production of a classic play!

I search: my soul in solitude, listening for Jesus' guidance and praying for his will in my life.

I wonder: Jesus, my Lord, my God, my All, how can Thee as I ought, and how rever this wondrous gift, so far surpassing hope or thought?

I regret: every time that I have offended the Lord. I pray through the hands of His Blessed Mother that all stain will be cleaned away.

I love: Reading, writing - really anything to do with words. I love words themselves. Now, take "Mellifluous" - isn't that a fantastic word? Or "Fuggevole" (pronounced foo-JEV-o-lay) - wonderful!

I ache: for the souls in Purgatory. here is the beautiful Prayer of St. Gertrude the Great, which was given to the holy woman by Our Lord Himself for the relief of the souls in purgatory and for the entire world.

Eternal Father, I offer Thee the most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son Jesus, in union with all the Masses said throughout the world today, for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal Church, and those in my own home and within my family. Amen.

I am not: either of the two powerful stereotypes that have been spread to bias the world against Catholics. I am not a sissy pushover indulging in escapism, nor am I a judgemental, narrow-minded infidel-hater out to destroy everything that gives joy. I am Catholic - I love life, I love the Lord, I take joy, I live, and I hope one day to be happy forever with God in Heaven through choosing to serve Him here.

I believe, I adore, I trust, and I love Thee, Lord, and I beg pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not trust, and do not love Thee.

I dance: All kinds of ballroom dance, but my favourites would have to be Waltz, Samba, and Jive.

I sing: mezzo soprano.

I cry: At the thought of being far from those I love, but I know that God will guide me always.

I don't always: do what I ought. *sigh*

I fight: Against the belief that one ought only to be introduced to Shakespeare in high school. I am my siblings are living proof that the Bard is for all ages! I should post that speech I wrote when I was thirteen...

I write: novels, short stories, essays, poetry, scripts, screenplays, letters - you name it.

I win: prizes at local music festivals for speech and musical theatre sometimes.

I lose: at chess. Every time. :)

I never: will understand how most current women's fashions became acceptable. Modesty is beautiful!

I always: sing every day.

I listen: to "La Boheme" in awe.

I can usually be found: on the Planet Earth. Stop by sometime. :)

I am scared: of getting aphids in my hair when running through certain bushes.

I need: G. K. Chesterton. I can't live without him.

I am happy about: the fact that I own the most affectionate cat in the world.

I imagine: that if you've got this far you're probably a member of my family. :)

I am wearing: Black pants, black sock, and a red T-shirt with "Roman Catholic Original - 2000 Years of Christian Tradition" and the Nicene Creed on the back.

I look forward too: Getting back to posting regularly on my blog!

Back From Dance Camp

When marimba rythms start to play, stay with me, sway with me...

Jumpin' jive, and then you really gotta...

So she dances, in and out of the crowd, like a glance...

A short while ago, I attended a wonderful Ballroom Dance Camp. I have been attending these about twice a year since 2004, and I cannot express what a splendid addition they are to anyone's life! Over two days, our wonderful instructors led us through the foxtrot, waltz, jive, rumba, samba, cha-cha, and mambo, with several lessons a day and a ball to finish off the camp. We broke out with a few, easy to do/learn dances that during the ball as well, such as the Chicken Dance, Cadillac Ranch, Cotton-Eyed Joe, the French Minuet, and the Seven-Step.

What a great deal of fun. I can only say this - if you haven't learned ballroom dancing, start learning. Right now. Call someone who knows, pick up an instruction book, stawalking backwards as smoothly as you can - you will never regret it!

Our fabulous instructers, with over 25 years of dance experience (homeschool parents, too!)

Preliminary instruction.

My sister dancing with a friend - and yes, that is me in the pink in the background.

Cotton-Eyed Joe - Southern style!

See you on the floor!